


Regret

by Nyooom



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Past Abuse, Swearing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 06:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14764646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyooom/pseuds/Nyooom
Summary: "Everything played out this way when the two of you hooked up. It was hot, rough, and over within an hour, tops. You never stayed afterwards - you were out the door no more than half an hour after the deed was done. Both of you had preferred it this way. No emotions, no strings attached, just purely fucking.But, this time would be different."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a writing I did for my blog on Tumblr, @ellygoesnyooom. The Saeran depicted is Secret End Saeran, but MC wasn't with Saeyoung when he was saved and wasn't there during his recovery. She also is not a part of the RFA, so she knows none of the other characters. The first part has no happy ending, but if you want one, part two is a happy end if you so wish to have it. I hope you enjoy!

_**MC** _

Saeran’s lips were attacking the sweet spot just behind your ear, licking and biting and sucking harshly in search of the gasp that would ensue. His hands roamed across your body, tugging at the clothing on your body that would shortly be discarded somewhere in the room for you to search for afterwards. He played you like an instrument, looking to hear your noises fill the room. In return, you didn’t muffle your gasps and moans, belting them out for the world to hear.

Everything played out this way when the two of you hooked up. It was hot, rough, and over within an hour, tops. You never stayed afterwards - you were out the door no more than half an hour after the deed was done. Both of you had preferred it this way. No emotions, no strings attached, just purely fucking.

But, this time would be different.

You had developed feelings for the man you had promised not to develop feelings for. They were very strong feelings. You were certain you loved him. Every time the two of you hooked up, you hoped he would pull you to his chest afterwards and tell you to stay for a while. You hoped that he would help you clean up afterwards, hoped that he would look at you tenderly and kindly instead of looking at you without any emotion or with purely lustful eyes. So far, that hadn’t happened, and you always left feeling sexually satisfied but emotionally empty.

As Saeran’s lips traveled down your neck towards your collarbone and chest, licking and nipping as he went, you gripped onto his hair and sighed happily, “I love you, Saeran…” Immediately, his hands froze on your body and his lips were off your body. Confusion flooded your body. What was wrong? Your brain was hazy, and you didn’t know what the problem was.

“What did you just say?” His voice was low as he sat back on his heels, staring down at you with emotionless eyes. You stared back wide-eyed, unsure of why he stopped. Your hands reached for him, trying to pull him back onto your body, but when your fingertips just barely brushed against the exposed skin on his chest, his hands went into motion, slapping yours away harshly. You reeled back, confused and hurt.

“S-Saeran!?”

“What the fuck did you just say?” You racked your brain, trying desperately to remember what you said. When it finally came to you, the lust that had been there before was quickly replaced with a heavy weight in your stomach.

“Oh, Saeran, I-I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry, it just slipped out!” Saeran was already climbing off his bed, yanking his previously discarded shirt back over his head and gathering your belongings from around the room. “Saeran, I’m sorry!” You launched yourself off the bed and to his side, gripping his bicep in a desperate attempt to catch his attention. He just shook you off and shoved the items into your hands.

“Bull fucking shit, MC. You meant it, don’t you try to tell me otherwise. I’ve seen the way you look at me after we finish fucking. You look at me with lovestruck eyes. We agreed to not have any emotions involved. Now, take your shit and leave.”

“What are you-”

“I’m saying we are over, MC! God, get it through your thick skull!” His eyes looked almost wild as he shoved you away, towards the door. You stumbled, catching yourself on the wall to steady yourself. “Get the fuck out of my house!”

Your vision was blurred with tears and you tried in vain to blink them away as you murmured, “I’m sorry…” and quickly left the room, allowing the tears that you were blinking away to finally fall freely down your cheeks.

 

-

 

**_Saeran_ **

He listened as your footsteps fled down the hallway and out of the house, the door shutting quietly and leaving him alone in the house. Saeran’s hands dug into his hair as he sat down heavily on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at his feet.

“God _damn it!”_ His scream echoed off the walls as he stood up, rushing to the wall and slamming his fist into it. It broke through the drywall, and when he removed his fist, a hole was left. “Damn it, damn it, damn it!”

He wanted to chase after you and apologize. He hated himself for being so mean to you like that. When the words left your lips, he panicked, and when he panics, it doesn’t end well. He wanted to take everything back, go back 10 minutes and redo everything, but he couldn’t.

He hadn’t meant his words. As he allowed angry tears to fill his eyes and flow down his cheeks, the words he had wanted to say bounced around his mind, taunting him with what he lost.

He hadn’t meant to say any of what he did. He had meant to say, “I love you, too, please don’t leave me.” And now, he was back at square one. He lost the one he loved because he panicked, and now he couldn’t get you back.

“I’m sorry, MC. I love you, too,” he muttered to the air before going to his dresser and pulling out a sweater you had left a few times ago. It still smelled faintly like you, and he curled up on the bed, clutching it to his chest and inhaling the scent as he cried himself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally was not going to write a happy ending to Regret, but after receiving many requests to write a happy end, I caved and wrote it, so here it is! Enjoy!

**_Saeran_ **

He listened as your footsteps fled down the hallway and out of the house, the door shutting quietly and leaving him alone in the house. Saeran’s hands dug into his hair as he sat down heavily on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at his feet.

“God _damn it!”_ His scream echoed off the walls as he stood up, rushing to the wall and slamming his fist into it. It broke through the drywall, and when he removed his fist, a hole was left. “Damn it, damn it, damn it!”

He wasn’t sure what to do. His heart felt as if it had been torn in two, half of it still in his body and the other half with you. One part, the part with him, told him to stay put. It told him that he didn’t deserve your love or affection, that this was what was best for both of you. But, the other half of his heart, the part that walked out the door with you, screamed at him to run out the door and find you.

Saeran let out another string of curses as he paced back and forth through the room, his fist throbbing from being forced through the drywall. His fist was no doubt swollen and needed ice, but he wasn’t focused on that at the moment. That wasn’t important - you were.

He had fucked up, and fucked up bad. You no doubt hated him for breaking your heart like that, and he knew that simply apologizing was like putting a band-aid over a gash that needed stitches. It didn’t begin to fix anything.

With a sigh, he stopped pacing and stared up at the ceiling for a moment before finally leaving the room to finally tend to his fist.

Once the ice was secured on his hand, he went in search of his phone. He needed to at least send you a message that he was sorry. It may only be a band-aid, but a band-aid was better than nothing at all.

With his good hand, he typed out a message, reading over it a few times before finally holding his breath and pressing send. He watched as the message went from sent to delivered on the screen. He didn’t expect it to go to read, though, and his stomach immediately plummeted before his heart started to race. He waited for the small typing symbol to pop up on the screen, but let out a sigh when it never showed up. Of course you wouldn’t respond. You were beyond hurt.

“I’m sorry, MC. I’m so sorry. I’ll try later.”

  


He had hoped that you would respond after you had cooled off, but with every message he sent came the inevitable read script, until eventually you had stopped opening them period. It had been two weeks since the fight, and he was getting desperate. The absence you left felt like a void in his heart. He felt cold and empty. Nothing brought him enjoyment anymore. Everything reminded him of you, and it was driving him absolutely crazy.

How he fell so hard for someone he had a strictly friends with benefits relationship with, he had no idea.

He stared down at his phone, your text thread open. He was shocked you hadn’t blocked his number already, though maybe you just hadn’t gotten around to it. It was probably only a matter of time before you did, though, so he decided he needed to make a last ditch effort to mend things. His thumbs typed out the message seemingly on their own accord, and he read it over once before pressing send. It went from sent to delivered, and stayed at delivered. He didn’t know if you would respond, or if you would even listen, but he had a chance.

The ball was in your court, and he couldn’t do anything more but wait.

 

-

 

**_MC_ **

Your phone chimed, waking you from your fitful sleep, and you immediately reached for it on your bedside table with a groan. Your hand slapped down on the wood a few times before your fingers came down on the familiar backing of your phone and you grabbed it.

You already knew who it was. You didn’t need to look at the ID to know. It was early yet, your alarm clock only reading 7 am. All of your friends slept in late and wouldn’t be up yet, so you could rule them out.. The only other option was Saeran, and as soon as you woke the screen up, his name appeared.

Your thumb immediately went to swipe away the message preview, removing the message from your notifications and curling back up under the covers. You would take care of it later.

 

The message stayed on your phone, the only reminder the small number beside the message icon. The little circle read 13. You had ignored thirteen of his messages, and part of you felt guilty. You had opened the first few, and knew that he felt bad, but he had really hurt you. You wanted him to know just how hurt you were, so you left him on delivered.

Curiosity burned at you with his most recent message. When you had removed the notification, you had caught the word ‘meet’ at the beginning. The possibilities of what the message could say nagged at you from the back of your mind. Where did he want to meet? When did he want to meet? Was there another meaning to the message?

You busied yourself with cleaning your place for the day after getting up. The whole time, though, the questions burned the back of your mind, teasing you until you finally gave in, opening his message.

 

_Meet me at the cafe by my house tonight at 5. I need to talk to you._

 

A little part of you wanted to stand him up for what he did to you. That part of you was largely overruled by the part of you that felt overjoyed at the idea of seeing him. You really did miss Saeran. You may have only been in a friends with benefits relationship previously, but you had known him much longer than that. The two of you had met at the very cafe that he wanted to meet you at after you messed up his order almost two years prior. You had worked there for a total of four days before you met him. Very much like him, he cursed you out for messing up his order, and you quickly remade it.

When you brought him the coffee, he had apologized, scratching the back of his neck nervously. You had found it adorable, his cheeks tinged pink from the embarrassment of his earlier outburst. He then handed you a $10 bill and left the shop, calling back to keep the change. As you were moving to place the money in the register, a slip of paper fluttered the ground, which had his number and name scrawled out. You had kept the paper in your pants pocket the rest of the day, unsure if you would text him. Curiosity won out, and you had texted him.

Much like that day, curiosity took over, and you responded to his message with action, showing up a few minutes after five. The bells jingled happily above your head as your eyes scanned the small shop. You hadn’t been there since you quit a few months back, and it was still the same as before. Your eyes fell on the familiar fiery red hair of Saeran, who was sitting alone in the back of the shop, mint eyes staring at you as you approached.

“You came…” his voice was quiet and almost hesitant as you settled yourself in the seat across from him.

“I came. What do you want, Saeran?” You winced slightly at how sharp your words had come out. It wasn’t what you had wanted to sound like at all. His eyes squeezed shut at your words, and he didn’t speak for a moment. He looked so vulnerable, sitting with his shoulders hunched over and head low. It pained you to see him look so weak.

The silence hung between the two of you heavily for a while. Finally, Saeran’s eyes opened and he looked at you. “I’ll go order us drinks.” Before you could say anything else, he was gone.

He came back a few minutes later and placed a drink in front of you, settling himself in his seat with his drink in his hand. You reached for the cup and brought it to your lips, surprised to find your favorite drink inside. He really remembered it?

“So, did you ask me to come here so we can sit in silence, or do you have something you want to say?” You eventually broke through the thick silence, setting your cup down and wrapping your hands around it. Saeran nodded in response, dragging a finger around the rim of his cup.

“I… I…” You waited patiently, somewhat excited to hear what he had to say. He let out a sigh before continuing. “I grew up in a rough place. My mother starved me, beat me, and abused me. She used my brother and I for money and to get at my father. Half the time she was drunk, the other half she was drinking. I was the weaker one between my brother and I, so I was the one who got tied up and punished often. I would go days without eating or drinking all because I made too much noise. It was utter hell. I was lucky I even made it out alive, because I didn’t think I would.”

That was not at all what you had expected him to say. You were floored by the new information he was bringing up about his past. You would sometimes try to ask him about his childhood before things took a turn for the worst between the two of you, but every time you brought it up, he shot the subject down. You were happy he was finally saying something about it, but you were confused about the relevance to the situation at hand. Still, you let him continue.

“I’m fucked up because of that, and other things that happened after. My life has been a shitshow, MC. The things that have happened in the past have scarred me to the point of no return. I’ve never known love. Nobody has ever shown me love, not even the one who ‘saved’ me. That’s why I panicked when you said that two weeks ago and I kicked you out. The words slipped out of your mouth, and my mental blocks flew into place. I didn’t mean a single word that flew out of my stupid mouth. I can never excuse myself for what I did, and I am so sorry.”

Your eyes teared up at his words. You had already forgiven him, and were about to tell him, opening your mouth to speak, but he rushed ahead. “I love you, MC. I’ve known it for a while, but I was scared to admit it. Hell, I’m still scared even after saying it. But, I’m fucked up. I’m broken, useless. I’m not good for you. I think-”

Before you could stop yourself, your hands reached across the table and cupped his cheeks. His eyes widened and you could feel his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, but it effectively shut him up.

“I don’t care if you think you are broken, fucked up, useless, or any other derogatory word in the dictionary, Saeran. I don’t care! Why? Because when you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with their baggage, too. You’ve had a terrible life so far, and it hurts me to think that you have gone through that. I’m not going to let you continue that sentence if you are about to say that you think that I would be better off without you, because let me tell you, I’m not.

“I’ve spent the last two weeks in agony. We never were officially together, but I grew close to you in the two years I have known you. I wanted to reach out to you to say that I’m sorry, too, but I was upset. I should have just texted you back after the first one like I had wanted to, but the stubborn, hurt part of me stopped me.” You took your hands off his cheeks before you continued. “We both did some stupid stuff these past two weeks. We both made mistakes, we both messed up, but let’s put that behind us, okay?” Slowly, Saeran nodded, looking both nervous and happy at the same time.

“You really think that?”

“I really think that. I want to move on, okay? No more casual hookups anymore. We can take it as slow as you need, but I want to move forwards with our relationship. We had an accident, but the accident is cleaned up, and we can move forwards again, okay?”

A smile you had never seen on Saeran lit his face up like the sun after a storm. It was a carefree, happy smile, and it took your breath away. Both of your drinks were forgotten as his hand reached across the table to grip yours softly, his thumb rubbing against the back of your hand. “Thank you for giving me a second chance. I’ll try to make it up to you.”

You returned his smile as you responded, “You already have, Saeran. You already have,” and brought his hand up to kiss the back of it before letting go and grabbing your drink. It was growing cold, but you didn’t care as you took a happy sip. He followed suit, sighing out contentedly as he started to ask you questions about your childhood.

As you answered his questions and joked around with Saeran in the coffee shop that evening, you knew that things would be better in the future. As long as you had Saeran beside you, nothing could tear you down.


End file.
